(Written on the 29/08/2018)
So the other night we had a party at the yard to celebrate the success of our open days and I think its safe to say I consumed a fair amount of alcohol…
My relationship with alcohol has been a bit of a rocky one. I’ve always been known as the piss head. Near enough all through high school, college and even through my work career. I ditched the alcohol this year and the other night was the second time I’ve been very drunk in 2018. The last time was back in April. And before that it was New Years! But yesterday and today have reminded me why I don’t like to drink alcohol anymore.
The hangover being the main reason. It’s just not worth it. It’s not worth the head ache and the groggy feel. It takes me a while to get over a night of drinking now. Like a few days to be exact. I just don’t like it. Working the day after didn’t exactly make me feel any better but whether I was working or not I would have still felt like shit. It’s made it clear to me that I really am not the same person I was this time last year. The old Emma would never say no to a night out, would never refuse a drink and would go to work hours after just crawling in from a messy night. I can’t hack that shit anymore. Alcohol brings your vibrations down and since I moved here I became even more of a positive person but today and yesterday I have been feeling pretty down and negative and I can only really put it down to the unhealthy amount of alcohol I consumed on Monday night. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great night! It really was a good night, but it has just reminded me of the reason why me and alcohol ended our train wreck of a relationship. Even now I still find it hard to have just a couple of drinks. I’ve always had the mindset of if I’m drinking alcohol, I’m going all out and I need to get wasted. I can go months now without even thinking about having a drink but when it comes it drinking for an occasion I do lose control slightly and I think I am beating myself up about it a bit too much. Most of the people that I work with are heavy drinkers and we’re all in the middle of nowhere so sometimes it feels like that is all there is to do but I’m hoping I have the strength in me to not start casual drinking and I certainly don’t want to go back to being pissed every weekend.
Monday night has made me so ready for my weekend off this weekend. I’m looking forward to recharging my batteries and re balancing myself again. This weekend I am focusing on getting my body back in balance. I am going to meditate, balance my chakras and get back into my yoga and stretches. My mind, body and soul needs it. I’m in need of a deep cleanse and I am looking forward to it!
Sending love and light to you all,