A Year Ago Today

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So I’ve been a bit quiet lately, my life has suddenly gotten busy the past few days! I got a throwback notification today, reminding me that it has been one year since I was in New York, which means this time last year I started my anti-depressants.

My mum and me went for a long weekend away in New York last year. It was a belated birthday treat for both of us and it’s somewhere we both wanted to cross off our bucket lists. At first, I wasn’t 100% sure if I’d like it. I’m a country girl at heart, so going to one of the busiest and largest cities in the world was both daunting and unappealing to me. At the time I had just started my anti-depressants. A few weeks prior I had my mental breakdown so my anxiety was through the roof. The lead up to the holiday I struggled to be excited for it. My friends were more excited than I was. As much as I needed a break away from everything, all I wanted to do was wrap myself up and hibernate in bed.

I finished my day at work and the girls wished me a nice holiday and I headed home to pack. Yup, I flew out in the early hours the following morning and I still hadn’t packed. That’s how un-excited I was for this holiday.
The flight there was alright, it went better than I thought it would. Mum had a window seat and I had two seats to myself to stretch my legs out. I watched Moana god knows how many times (love that film) and we had a three course meal on the plane! When we landed we were queuing up ready to go through security checks and the news was on the TVs in the airport. Sadly a car had purposely driven on the pavement in Times Square injuring many people. It wasn’t the best way to start the city break. We got our taxi and as we were driving through the city to our hotel there were police everywhere and Times Square had been completely closed off. It was upsetting because it was so un-expected. Thankfully they caught the guy who was driving the car.
Driving through the city was an experience itself. It was so busy! Cars beeping, drivers shouting at each other and people everywhere! On the road, on the pavement (technically side walk as I was in America) it was crazy! I thought Manchester was busy but New York is something else! We arrived at our hotel and soon realised New York was warmer than we thought…a lot warmer and the buildings were tall…very tall. Everybody I saw looked so busy! I’ve never seen anything like it!

On this day last year my mum and I bought tickets to see Aladdin at Broadway. We got out tickets last minute. Apparently there was a couple who cancelled their front row seats WHICH were bang in the middle of the row, so of course we booked those seats! We went back to our hotel and started getting ready for our evening at Broadway! We started to walk there and I was starting to get paranoid. I was paranoid about how I looked. Paranoid at people staring and wondering what they were thinking. My paranoia was starting to take over and I was getting hot…very hot. I started to sweat a lot, which made me even more paranoid! At this point, my mum didn’t really know panic attacks were kinda normal for me. So…that made me panic even more because I didn’t want her to panic about me panicking! I just needed to stand somewhere quiet and secluded which is pretty fucking difficult in New York! I told mum I needed to stop and we stood outside a shop door for a while. I faced the wall and tried to take deep breaths whilst my mum fanned me with our map of NYC. My mum was worried about us being late so we stayed there for five minutes and then we carried on walking again. Once we arrived I was somewhat relived and excited to sit down and to try to enjoy our evening!

If you ever get the chance to watch Aladdin at Broadway DO IT! It was amazing! The outfits, performers, songs the set up it was all perfect! By far one of the best evenings I’ve ever had! The theatre was beautiful! So artistic and majestic! Once the performance was finished me and mum started our walk back to the hotel. The walk home, I was absolutely fine. No paranoia or panic attacks in the slightest. Being typical Brits we went to a bar afterwards…a Irish bar. It was right next to our hotel! It was ideal as my mum gets drunk after one drink! We walked in and took a seat at the bar, got some food and had a fair few drinks. We made friends with one of the bartenders called J, who I actually still speak to now! Lovely guy! After a couple of hours we decided to call it a night and we headed back to our hotel room.

New York has a piece of my heart. There is so much more culture and diversity there than I thought. The residents are friendly and there is plenty to do! The people there are so chatty! It was completely different to what I’m used to in my home town but good different! I would love to go back to NYC again. I wasn’t expecting it to be so beautiful! The layout, the buildings and the people. All unique!

If you do ever get a chance to go to New York, do it! It’s a place that is worth every penny and it is worthy of being on your bucket list! Whether you are a country soul or a city soul, New York has something for everyone!

Love you all lots,

Emma xo

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