Majority of people in my life don’t really know this secret of mine. Those that do either believe me or are slightly sceptical. In all honesty, I don’t quite understand it all myself.
After my dads death strange things started to happen to me that I couldn’t explain. It started off with these horse magazines my dad used to buy me. At the time I had a pile of them on my table in my bedroom. One day after school they had been moved onto my chair. I know I didn’t do this. I was at school. M couldn’t have done it, he was also at school and mum was at work. I just ignored it. I was too distracted to care, but then other things started to happen. My phone used to move places every time I left the room and soon after my dads death, our house alarm kept going off every other day. Mostly at night. We all thought it was weird but that was it. Well it was, till things got weirder for me.
A few months after my dads death and I was feeling things that I couldn’t explain. I would constantly feel like I was being watched. Which I suppose is normal when you’re in school or out in public, but this was at home. It was constant. Like I just had this feeling with me all the time. The feeling was worse when I was in my living room or going up/down our stairs. To me, these are both linked to my dads death. He died in our living room and I was sat on the stairs at one point during that day. So I told mum about it, I can’t remember quite how the conversation went but I know she brushed it off. As you would. I didn’t even know what I wanted her to say. I couldn’t explain anything. This feeling carried on for months and months. It was horrible. It unnerved me. Our living room and dining room are connected and to access our kitchen you need walking through both the living and dining room. One day, I was just sat downstairs watching TV and I got up to nip to the kitchen to get a drink. When I came out of the kitchen a girl caught my eye. There was a girl stood in the corner of our living room watching me. I stood there still for a bit. Neither of us moved. Then I casually went back into the kitchen, waited a few minutes and when I came back she had gone. The girl that I saw isn’t your ordinary girl ‘ghost’. If you’ve ever seen The Ring, she looks like the girl in that. The long black hair covering her face. She was dressed in this ragged and torn white dress, barefoot and silent. She was pretty god damn scary to be honest. I didn’t tell anyone at first, but then I started to see her more often and this feeling she gave me was starting to eat me alive. But I couldn’t explain any of it! So how could I tell somebody else and expect them to give me answers? They’d think I was crazy! After a while I started to see this man as well. He didn’t do much. He just watched me. My bedroom is in the attic, so I have my own set of stairs I have to walk up and they are open. As you go up them, there is a wall on your right, and an open banister on your left. The stairs aren’t filled either so you can put your hand through the stairs. But this guy you used watch me go up and down my stairs. That’s all he did. I think he unnerved me mainly because I could fall down these stairs a number of different ways and he could possibly influence that. Him I could deal with. The girl however, she was a pain. One day I cracked. I broke down. This girl was popping up everywhere. I started to see her at school, restaurants or just when I was out walking. She started to watch me sleep at night which was bloody terrifying. She cracked me. It was late one evening. I was in my bedroom, M was in his and mum was downstairs. I went downstairs in tears and said to my mum “I’m either crazy or seeing ghosts but something is not right”. She knew then that I was serious. She threw her arms around me and just hugged me tight. I just wanted some sort of explanation. Was I going crazy? It would make sense, my dad had just died. Or was it something more?
At the time my mum found peace in holistic therapies and she was having a weekly Reiki session with a lady called K. Mum had organised for me to meet K and have a chat about what had been going on. So we met up at Ks little shop. It was filled with crystals, angels and Buddha’s. As soon as you walked in there was an instant weight lifted off you. I’d never been or seen anywhere like this before. We went to the back and we started chatting. Mum didn’t know anything about me actually seeing ‘things’ at this point. So when I started talking about my experiences, I could see the ‘Oh fuck’ expression on her face. K told me that her daughter is a medium and clairvoyant. She then went on to explain how a traumatic event can open up your third eye making you more spiritually aware. She explained that after a death of a loved one, they can sometimes try to reach you. This I believed 100%. At the start, everything ‘spooky’ that was happening to me was linked to my dad. He used to buy me my horse magazines and he used to always pester me to play games on my phone then whenever I left the room he would hide my phone from me. K then went onto explain how sometimes the third eye naturally closes itself, but it sounded like mine stayed open. She told me it could be open for a reason. This could be my calling but if I wanted, she could close it for me. If I did want it to remain open she, she could give me ways of coping and organise a meet up between me and her daughter. I went home afterwards just pondering everything she said. In all honesty it made me feel special. Kinda like I was the ‘chosen one’. It also terrified me. Would I start to experience more spooky beings? Would things get worst? It was scary! But I decided to leave it open. It made me feel unique and deep down I was hoping to be able to contact my dad someday.
One evening I met up with Ks daughter J. She spoke so openly about the subject. She calls it a gift. A gift that I had also been blessed with. As we were chatting, the girl pops up in the room. I fall silent. It was like that moment when you have a rant about someone, and they then come into the room. J looked at me and said “I know she’s here, but it’s okay” and we carried on talking as normal. I explained how this girl never says anything when I see her, so what do I do? You see in all the TV shows and films that the ‘ghost’ normally needs help, but how was I supposed to help her if she never spoke to me?! J explained the best thing to do is to ignore her until she gives you a reason not to. I left that evening feeling more confident and stronger. I knew what to do now. I knew I wasn’t crazy…well not 100%. I went home having a new look on this new acquired ‘skill’ of mine.
I still see this girl nowadays. Her name is Elizabeth actually. But I’ll tell you how she told me that another time. It’s weird because I am kinda fond of her now. I don’t see her as often as what I did, but when I do it’s just the norm. Sometimes I even say good morning to her. However I’m still a lady of science. I do like things to be fact and proven. This is a subject that many people still have heated debates about. Don’t get me wrong, I still have moments where I doubt whether I’m actually seeing someone or not. Whether it’s all created in my head or not. But there are things that have happened that I can’t explain and neither science. It’s been a weird and at times scary experience, but I’m glad I opened myself up to it.
I’ve still got plenty more ‘ghost’ stories to tell, don’t you worry! For now, I’m off to make the most of this rare sunshine we have in the UK.
Sending my best wishes to you all,
Love you all lots,