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I’ve been slightly distracted lately. My best friend L is leaving for Australia tomorrow morning. We’ve been best friends since Year 7 at high school. We normally got seated next to each other in our classes which is how we started to get to know each other. In maths, I would copy his work. In ICT he did most of my work for me and in our Personal Development classes I almost stabbed him in the eye with a pen. I didn’t get him in the eye, so it’s all good, but i almost did. It was an accident I swear…

I am happy for him, I really am but it’s a big change. He’s not 100% sure when or if he’ll be back, but I leave for Oz on August 3rd, so we aren’t really sure when we’ll next see each other. We’ve both had our battles with mental illnesses but in different ways. I know this will be great for him. He’s grown from an anxiety riddled person to someone who is more confident in himself and isn’t taking shit from anyone or anything and I am so so proud of him. Although I don’t think he is quite there yet, I think Australia will help him discover his true self and what he wants from life.

Over the course of our friendship, we’ve been faced with many challenges. During high school we were complete opposites. He was part of the ‘Indie’ group and I wasn’t, but we always bonded in our classes. We have a similar sense of humour. So we always had a laugh. A lot of people thought we were dating. Now…this is a subject that fucks me off slightly. Even now, some people think we’re dating, but we’re not and we never have done. People couldn’t accept that we were just friends. It put a strain on our friendship at a few points. When it came to me and boyfriends, the paranoia they had about me and L was ridiculous. No matter what I said, they would still hold some jealously towards him which then caused strains on my relationships. When it came to L and girls, he attracted some crazy girls. I mean crazy. Think it’s fair to say they hated me. Their paranoia was worse than the guys! It’s stupid. It’s pathetic! What’s even shitter is that I was asked at one point to end my friendship with L. Now this is someone who has been there for me for YEARS. Put up with me for YEARS. Seen me at my very best and very worst. This is someone who has stuck by me through thick and thin. We’ve literally both witnessed each other grow into the people we are today. So no, I will never end my friendship with L. Ever.

In all honesty, I can’t believe how quick this day has come. It’s hit me like a truck, and I’m an emotional wreck today not gonna lie. Lost count of how many times I’ve cried already. I even promised myself that I wouldn’t cry…broke that promise! Me and L have spent the past few days together. Sunbathing, smoking, drinking. We’ve not really spoke about the subject. I know he’s nervous. It’s a big ask considering less than a month ago he was in a 9-5 job and suffered days where his anxiety was taking over him, but that’s what makes me more proud of him. He reached a point where he thought “Fuck this” and he took control of his life. He’s binned everything that was toxic, everything that was keeping him down and it takes strength and courage to do that. Something that L didn’t really have much of this time last year.

I’m quite protective of L. So if ANYBODY tries to replace me, i will hunt you down…but that’s because i love him. He’s my best friend who is more like a brother. My family say he’s family and his family say I’m family. I don’t know where or when we’ll be reunited, but I know we’ll always be best friends no matter where we are, but today is the day we say goodbye to our random evenings spent smoking weed. We say farewell to our spontaneous days out and we say so long to our friendship routine here in the UK.

Till next time L,

Lots of love,

Emma xo