Mondays, urgh. Not many people like them. Why would you? Its normally the busiest day at work, you could still feel hungover from the weekend and everything is a ball ache.
I used to feel the same. So I started to change my perception of Mondays. It took a long time for me to realise my negativity was controlling how I saw the world and lived day to day life. We are surrounded by constant negativity wherever we go. If we don’t see it then we hear about it, so its hard to stay positive sometimes.
However, now I try to see Mondays as the start of a fresh new week. Your attitude on Monday will set you for the rest of the day and possibly the rest of the week. So on Mondays I like to mediate. Meditation provides me with a break from the real world, me time. Time to gather any thoughts and feelings, process the negative ones and move on.
Suffering from PTSD means I am constantly reminded of the past. Past events, feelings and thoughts. Now don’t get me wrong, i’m no pro at meditation, i’m just letting you know what’s worked for me.
I used to drink my issues away. My dad died when I was 12 years old and I started drinking at 13. I’m not talking about WKD’s or Frosty Jacks. I’m talking about vodka. I loved vodka. The taste didn’t bother me and it got my flat out drunk to the point where I either didn’t care about anything or I would be balling my eyes out at something that happened in the past.
It was only this year I started to really focus on meditation. It was this year when I realised I was kinda ruining my own life. It was me! My thoughts, feelings, emotions it was the negativity that I had created in my own head that was ruining my life! Drink, drugs and my own thoughts had taken over. I decided to suppress them rather than deal with them. It felt better and easier to temporarily forget everything rather than to work and process the negativity.
It was my counsellor who made me see sense. She recommended meditation. Its something I’ve always known about and admired. I’ve tried it in the past but I found it too frustrating for me. My brain was constantly working over time, so it was hard to just take even 2 minutes to myself, and when I couldn’t do it, I would get pissed off at myself and then the negative thoughts would take over. It was a vicious circle in my own head that I could not escape.
So this year I thought ‘nah fuck this.’ I put my foot down and I was determined to get at least 2 minutes of meditating done! So I waited till I was home alone, made my bedroom all cosy, lit some candles and incense. I wore my comfiest pjs and sat down on the floor in the middle of my bedroom, crossed my legs and took a deep breath. That one deep breath gave me confidence that I could do this! It already took away some of the stress and negativity I was keeping hold of. I stuck some meditation music on, closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. I started off with a few deep breaths to collect myself, then I let myself breath normally.
I created in my head my own happy place. I focused in on that. When I was focusing on that, nothing else mattered. Money, alcohol, stress, work, life in general all of it went away. It was refreshing for me. It made me feel lighter. I felt as though I was filled with this bright light of positivity and ooh it felt good!
I wasn’t aware of how long I had been meditating for, but my happy place started to fade in my head and it was getting harder to concentrate on it. So I thought instead of fighting it, just go with it. As the image was slowly fading away I was becoming more aware of my physical surroundings. I could hear the cars driving by outside, I could feel that I was sat on the floor and I could wiggle my toes and fingers around. When I felt ready, I opened my eyes. I had been meditating for 5 minutes! 5 fucking minutes! I was amazed. Afterwards I was so proud of myself it changed my outlook and attitude of the rest of the day and week! I felt as though I was gaining control over my negativity for the first time ever! And fuck me it felt good. I went off about my day with my head held high and a smile on my face. No fucker was gonna bring me down.
All i’m saying is if you have some time to yourself, try meditation. If you feel as though you can relate, try it! I understand no two people are the same. What works for some might not work for others, but is there any harm in trying meditation? No. There are no negative side effects of meditation.
Change your perception of your day and spread the positivity!
Go out and nail your Monday! You got this!
Love you all lots,