I’m a big believer in that you need to work with yourself not against yourself. Work with your fears, limitations and mind. Now before you carry on reading, please beware I am no fitness or health guru. So take this article as you may, but this is what has worked and is still working for me.
I’ve never been confident, especially about my body. My physical insecurities stem from several things but we’ll get into that another time. 2017 was an absolutely shocking year for me, so I decided 2018 is gonna be my year. I’m gonna proper nail it this year. My goal is to be in a place where I am confident in myself. Am I there yet? No, but god I am so close! I knew when I set this goal that if I was going to achieve it I had to do everything gradually. So I started with my diet. This needed cleaning up. I’ve been on diets in the past and they did not work out. They made me cranky and made me crave fatty foods even more. I’m not a dieting person. I always ended up feeling worse on a diet. So I thought to myself, what else can I do? I can’t continue eating pizzas, chocolate and crap. Yeah it made me feel good for about 1 minute (I inhale my food) but for hours afterwards I would feel sluggish and ashamed of myself.
So I started to make small changes. I started off with just reducing how much I ate. I would still eat crap, but less of it. Over the course of a few weeks I had reduced myself to 3 meals a day and hardly any snacking. Please note when I say reduced I mean I slowly altered my portion sizes. I did not restrict myself! When I restrict myself, that’s when I also fight back and I just end up in a conflict with myself.
Once I was happy with how much food I was consuming I altered what I was eating. So to start with I cut the crap out at the weekends and switched them for two healthy days. Week days I would stick to relatively healthy food but if I wanted chocolate then fuck it! I was gonna have some chocolate, but in moderation. Instead of eating a whole bar at once, I would just take a couple of bites and save the rest for another time I craved chocolate. That way, my craving was satisfied but I hadn’t over done it to the point where I felt bloated and sluggish. I knew that if I ate healthy for 5 days and unhealthy for 2 days, I would not have been able to get to the point where I am now. If I was going to do this I need to remember by weaknesses and work with them.
I made my meals as filling and tasty as possible. I love my carbs. Carbs are life but I don’t really exercise enough to keep eating them. So I switched things up. Instead of normal potatoes I would go for sweet potatoes. I switched my pasta to whole wheat and my bread to wholemeal. It took a few days – a week for me to get into it but I started to really enjoy my meals! I was starting to gain some confidence in myself. The new food routine was making me so happy, I felt good about myself! Possibly for the first time ever!
I got to a point where I was happy with what I was eating. When it came to meals out I learnt how to say no. I learnt how to find the healthier options, but I did have to remember its okay to treat yourself!! After all this you deserve it!! So me and one of my best friends Z invented Fat Day. One day a week we would go out for food and just eat till we can’t eat any more. We try new places and new food each week. Switching it up from unhealthy fat days to healthy fat days. This was my treat to myself. It got me out of the house, it was something for me to plan and look forward to as well as spending extra time with Z.
A few months ago I was messaged by a girl I knew from college. We got talking about these shakes she is on. After back and forth chatting I decide to give it a go. The shakes come in two flavours, Vanilla and Chocolate. They’re like a powder you just mix with milk/water. The shakes are for weight gain/loss or maintaining weight. They also provide you with all the nutrients you need in just one shake. I started off with two a day and I can safely say they are the most delicious shakes I have ever had! The best thing about the chocolate one is that is satisfies those odd chocolate cravings I sometimes get! The best thing about the shakes is that you can make a meal from them as they are so filling, but milk. I had an obsession for milk. It was something I never grew out of. I would have several pints a day (Honestly). I just loved milk, but when I started to clean my diet up I realised it might not be the best thing for me. So I started with reducing the amount of milk I drink. When i wanted a pint, I was try drinking something else instead. Which is now why I’m obsessed with herbal tea. Once I had reduced the amount, I changed the milk from semi-skimmed to skimmed. The skimmed tasted mingin. It wasn’t the same. But I knew I was ready to take on this next challenge without looking back. So I started using red milk on my cereal and in my shakes and focused on drinking herbal tea and water and I eventually got used to the taste of skimmed milk and I noticed my belly bloating had gone down! This provided me with some more confidence. Confidence which I needed. When it came to my shakes, I mixed it up. I now use coconut, walnut, rice, almond, soya or oat milk. I can’t really taste a difference between them (except for coconut and soya) but I’ve noticed a difference in myself. I feel lighter and I feel good about myself!
I started this ‘diet’ at the start of this year and it’s not been easy, but I found if I was craving something unhealthy, it could be for other reasons. It could be because I was upset and needed comfort food, I was due my period or I just wanted a snack. I had to understand myself and think, right am I actually peckish or am I trying to suppress other underlying issues? I’m now at a point where I won’t eat just because other people are or because there’s nothing else to do. I’m at a point where fatty foods just don’t provide me with any happiness. I’ve managed to get to a point where I can eat what I want when I want and have no worries. I now know I prefer healthy food to unhealthy food. I feel I know more about myself now than what I did a few months ago when I decided to sort my shit out.
Basically my point being, You know yourself better than anyone else. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!!!! Its your body!! Your mind!! Your soul!! Do not destroy it to try to keep up with the society we live in today. Don’t do it to yourself. I made this change because I wanted to, but I knew I was ready for this change. I knew I would be able to take it on.
I know some people might be out there reading this and thinking ‘what a load of shit’, sorry, but your opinion is irrelevant. Like I said, its MY BODY. MY MIND. MY SOUL. However constructive criticism is always welcome. We live in a world where it’s like everyone is in competition with each other. We need to encourage others, be there for others and support others! Life is not a competition.
I’m still not quite at a confidence level I am happy with. I know I still have a way to go. But rest assured I will keep you up to date!
Remember, you are your own person. Love yourself and make yourself happy.
Love you lots,